I just threw up on my dentist
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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