dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
