Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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