he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
