he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize