Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
