5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
