accomplished twins. life is a go
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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