I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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