belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
