I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
