My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
