he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
