You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
