Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so let's talk penis.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
