I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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