Christians are straight up FREAKS
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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