i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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