I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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