You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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