I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
