If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
