he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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