? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
