Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
