So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
