This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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