Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
