Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
