I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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