you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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