the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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