On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
