Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Houston, we have a blender
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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