I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
