Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
