Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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