The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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