your thong is hanging out like whoa
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
