Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
