dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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