All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Someone signed my nipple.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
