we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
