Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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