he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
