You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
