haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize