Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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