I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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