I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
