Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
