would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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