i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
