So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
