I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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