if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
