it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
