Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
