i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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