a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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