I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
