she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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