69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
