Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
