I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
