Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
