I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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