My room smells like vodka and shame
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
