He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
