I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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