I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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