it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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