I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize