He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
