Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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