you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
