i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
