He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Cover your peen. We're going out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
