he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
