using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got inside last night via doggy door
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
