you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
